A Joke
So this duck walks into a bar and sits down on the middle stool. The
bartender comes over and says, "I wouldn't sit there if I were you ---
a big walrus was sitting there, and he still has to deliver his
punchline when he gets back from the toilet. "Oh no," laments the
duck, "I must be in another one of those awful jokes about being in
the wrong joke." But before he can get up, the walrus returns and
exclaims, "What's this --- not another duck!! That's it, I want a new
joke writer." So the joke writer comes running into the bar and
shouts at the walrus, "Hey, this is NOT the way I wrote the joke, OK?
The duck's not supposed to be here, and neither am I. Now stop
criticizing me unfairly, or this is the last walrus joke I ever
write." By this point, the audience is hissing and booing as the
actors continue to bicker and never get to the punchline. So the
duck, the walrus, the bartender, and the joke writer take out their
automatic weapons and obliterate the entire audience. The bloody
audience members all mutter with their last breath, "Well, these bit
parts aren't glamorous, but they pay the rent." Then the person
reading this narration says "I don't think they had to resort to
gratuitous violence just because they couldn't come up with a clever
ending." So the walrus pats the reader on the shoulder and says,
"What do you want for free --- Ruben Bolling?" Then God, who's been
watching all this, perks up and says "Wait a minute --- characters in
jokes can't be physically present with the joke reader. This isn't
the universe I created!" So he takes his big hand and goes "Splat!"
over the whole shebang. Then the person writing this silly drivel
says, "Whoa, it looks like I've been writing this silly drivel for a
while now; I'd better get back to work before the boss catches me."
Just then the boss walks into the office and exclaims "Ah ha! Writing
silly drivel on MY TIME again, eh? You're fired!!!" Then he reaches
over and unplugs the computer, and no one ever gets to enjoy this
silly drivel. Then everyone drinks a beer and sings "Row, Row, Row
Your Boat". Then they all die.
More Random Cruft
from Ken
